Why am i living like this?

i am a single mum of 3 children who i love with all my heart but i feel like i am living a life that is not mine i have tryed so hard to go back and study and something all ways stops me i some times think about giving my children to a family member to bring up just so i could make something of my life for my children to look up to me for but i just could not bring my self together to hand my children away, things are getting so bad am stuck doing the same thing everyday , ino i should off thought bout this be for i had children but i didnt i have no friends am stuck in and now am startin to panic when i do go out get soo paranoide its unreal so i just tend to stay in all the time am only 22 and feel like i am about 100 because i dont go out and have no life out side my own 4 walls in my house i think iam getting a ED well i no iam its not good iam sooo down its horrid i just exsist not live and i need to change the way i think what i do well everything really because its not right i have tryed to be the best mum ever to my children because the thought of bein judged because am a single young mum of 3 kills me but all though am a good mum now how long till tha goes wrong my kids will see hw i am down and now i am noticing a ED they will pick up on it and its nt good well what i am trying to ask is how can i single mum of 3 babys get a life.